The Sun laughed. It was hot that October day before Halloween. The Van Man had decided that he needed to park under some shade. That was the only way to go. He found a spot under a big spooky tree by the library. It was perfect. He disconnected his battery, as usual, and laid down a pillow by the cooler of meat. Van Man stretched out in the back of the van and before he knew it, he was asleep.
His eyes slowly opened. He stared at the ceiling. Van Man sensed something unusual. He looked out the side window. It was pitch black. Damn, I slept a long time, thought Van Man. He looked toward the end of the van and saw Two Children at the back windows. They stared at him. Van Man was frozen. Not from fear. From confusion. Suddenly, the Two Children pointed at Van Man and shrieked in horror. Van Man jumped up. He banged his head on the roof and nearly collapsed. The Children shrieked louder. Van Man was scared and needed to get away. He jumped into the front seat and realized that he did not have his keys. He searched the van floor. The Children ran up the side of the van and banged on the windows and doors. They shrieked even louder. Van Man found the keys.
"Motherfucker!", screamed a male voice from afar. Van Man looked out the passenger side window and spotted a Large Man with a baseball bat across the street on a lawn. "Jesus", muttered The Van Man. The Large Man with the baseball bat marched towards the van. Van Man jumped in the front seat. He shoved the key into the ignition and turned it. Nothing. Fuck, the battery, he thought. Van Man looked over and Large Man with the baseball bat was closer. Van Man jumped out of the van and accidentally knocked one of the shrieking Children to the ground. The Child halted his shriek for a moment to assess his situation. The Child took a breath. Then he let out a wail louder than Van Man thought was humanly possible. Van Man ran to the front of his van and opened the hood. He looked around. People stared at him from their living room windows. The Children's shrieks and wails continued. He connected the lever to the battery and slammed the hood shut. Van Man looked across the street. The Large Man was gone. Van Man ran around to the the driver's side door and stopped dead in his tracks. The Large Man stood at the door and he held the baseball bat.
"You fucked with the wrong kids, rapist motherfucker.", said the Large Man.
"What? No-no! I'm not, listen, man--I didn't rape!", pleaded Van Man.
"You're dead, motherfucker!"
"No-wait! I was sleeping!"
Van Man stepped backwards and tripped on the wailing Child. He fell to the ground. The Large Man stomped towards The Van Man as he crawled back. The Large Man raised the bat high over his head. Van Man was frozen in fear. The bat came down and smashed Van Man's ankle into pieces. The pain soared through him and he let out a wail that bested the child's.
"Kill him, Frank!", yelled the children.
The Large Man continued to bash the Van Man with his bat. The Van Man screamed. The People were no longer at their living room windows. They had joined the mayhem in the street. The People surrounded the brutality. After Large Man finished smashing Van Man, he pulled out a knife. Van Man was broken and he spit up blood. Some of his teeth were gone. His legs were obliterated. Both wrists were in fragments. The Large Man handed the knife to one of the Children. "Finish him.", said The Large Man. The Children smiled at each other and giggled. They looked back at Van Man and stared at him with insane eyes. They rushed over to his body. "...no...no, no...ple...please...", begged Van Man. The Child with the knife stuck it into Van Man's throat. He gurgled in pain. One Child held up his head while the other sawed through the neck bone. Van Man's legs and arms twisted in agony. When they had finished, the Children held up The Van Man's head high above their own. The moon shined mightily and the celebration of Samhain had commenced. Halloween had come and the Children received their treat early.