Sunday, December 21, 2014

Rock 'n Fucking Roll

  The audition was long. And it was in San Pedro. Contrasting monologues, a three page questionnaire, singing and dancing. It was not the typical Hollywood "Say Some Lines And Get The Fuck Out" audition. The questions were designed to understand the actor better. The Van Man answered them as best as he could. What talents did he have besides acting? He lived in a van. What were his favorite games? He did not play games. What was his favorite food? Pizza, motherfucker. Van Man was not much of a singer, but he chose Blue Christmas for his song. It would do. After the rendition, The Artistic Director asked whom he had sung to. Van Man looked at the wall he had just sung to. "Um, all of the ghosts of my past." Artistic Director liked the answer. If Van Man had learned anything in his years as an LA actor, it was to know when to tell them what they wanted to hear.
  Van Man left the audition fairly unsure if he would be cast or if he even wanted to be. He left San Pedro on the One-Ten with the thought that it was one hell of a drive for a few bucks and artistic fulfillment. The Saturday traffic was awful. He needed music. The van had no radio. There was just a hole in the dashboard. He put on the headphones and plugged into his phone. Van Man found the song that had been stuck in his head from the night before. A brand new sex groove from the Godfathers of Rock. "Got Some Rock 'N Roll Thunder" was the sixth track off the new album, but it deserved the number one slot. AC Fuckin' DC.
  The Rock 'N Roll played. He drove on. Van Man and Mr. Funny had spent the previous evening drinking and listening to the album. It was a reminder to Van Man that no matter the age, there really was no such thing as growing up. The word adult was just that, a word. No person grows out of who they were at seven, fifteen or twenty-eight. The lettuce at the bottom of the salad was still the same lettuce that a patron started with. They might load up on bacon bits and mushrooms and croutons, but the salad was not a salad without the lettuce. The green leaves tie all of the shit together. Along with the Thousand Island.
  The Rock 'N Roll played. Van Man relaxed. If San Pedro called him back, he would take it. He was an actor, after all. He took on roles, that is what he did. The ten year old Van Boy with a dream was still alive. He was right there driving a van on a crowded One-Ten. He knew there was something very poignant about that. The Van Man was on the verge of making an important revelation about the human condition. But he could not put his finger on it. It was too busy shredding air licks as he Rock 'N Fucking Rolled down the One-Ten.
 

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