The new week began. So did a new job for The Van Man. He found himself, on Monday morning, surrounded by paperwork that needed to be filled out and vehicles that needed to be moved. He was a transporter. The work day would consist of driving around Los Angeles in various automobiles. It seemed the perfect fit for Van Man's expertise.
The paperwork was dull and repetitive. Signatures and initials, promises that he would work hard as expected, that he would show up when told and that he would not touch on any tits. Van Man signed away. He agreed to those demands. Besides, that first paycheck called to him. He was starving and could use a decent meal. The bread and peanut butter diet he was on had sapped him of energy and twenty pounds. Van Man had not been that thin since he floated around in The Old Man's nuts.
The last page of forms to be signed was something unique. And Van Man became aroused by the potential. At the top of the form, in the classiest font type he had ever seen, four words were sprawled across. INTERNATIONAL. BROTHERHOOD. OF TEAMSTERS. The new boss informed the new hires of their newly aquired union status. Van Man stared at the words in amusement. And great interest. Was it good for Van Man to be a Teamster? You bet your ass it was. He knew what it meant. Being a Teamster meant no motherfucker could mess with Van Man, but Van Man could fuck with them. That's being a Teamster, he thought. If he wanted something at the store, well he just took it and told them to put it on his tab. And no one would say shit. That's being a Teamster. Cop pulls him over for speeding? Van Man rolls down the window, shows the union card, then tells the cop to go fuck himself. That's being a Teamster.
Van Man quickly put the pen to paper and signed away. Some of the new hires might have had questions, reservations. Not him. He had read the stories and seen the movies. He understood the game. Trucks of free food and miles of adventure were in his future. Things were going to be different with that signature. The Van Man was a Teamster.